Russia is "women-friendly" according to propaganda, but reality shows oppression and violence

Have you ever stopped in front of a glossy video that promises that somewhere out there, families effortlessly flourish, women glow with confidence, and there are simply no gender issues to speak of?

A growing chorus of YouTubers and lifestyle commentators, often paid by the Kremlin(opens in a new tab), paints exactly that picture of Russia.

According to their account, it is a paradise that has found the “perfect balance” between conservatism and feminism. Russian women, they say, combine devotion to family with ambition – attentive to their appearance, hardworking and reliable.

The story is familiar: Russian women are happier, more fulfilled, and freer than their Western counterparts. Traditional gender roles are not framed as constraints, but as empowering choices. In this way, gender becomes a tool of soft power, packaged for audiences disillusioned by the country’s polarized debates.

Take Maria Butina — now a member of the Russian State Duma, previously deported from the United States after being convicted of acting as an unregistered foreign agent. In an interview (opens in a new tab)With sympathetic influencers, she presents Russia as more “women-friendly” than the US or the EU — even “the land of elections and freedom for women.”

The symbolism extends to International Women’s Day. While in many countries March 8 highlights unfinished battles for equal rights, in Russia such a perspective is – to put it mildly – ​​discouraged.(opens in a new tab), and the day has instead been framed largely as a celebration of traditional femininity, with flowers, compliments and gestures of courtesy. Pro-Kremlin FIMI reinforces the contrast, combining quiet domestic images with sensationalized depictions of aggressive feminism.(opens in a new tab)in the West. The message is simple: instability abroad, harmony at home.

The pull is understandable. But what appears to be an organic lifestyle trend serves a strategic purpose – shaping perceptions beyond Russia's borders.

“Conservative values” versus solid demographic calculations

Recently, the Russian government has allowed entire families who reject the "destructive neoliberal ideology" in their countries to immigrate to the country on so-called "shared values" visas.

(opens in a new tab)Russia's narrative as a defender of family values ​​and traditional gender roles, amplified(opens in a new tab) by state-affiliated channels, clashes with the realities of an authoritarian state waging war against its neighbor, where the government increasingly promotes traditional roles and seeks to dictate how women should live.

One of the government's main concerns is the falling birth rate: Russia's population has been shrinking for years. (Opens in a new tab), and heavy losses during the war, combined with a wave of people fleeing military conscription or political repression, have deepened the crisis.

In response, the government has introduced a series of interventionist measures aimed at pushing women to have more children.

Limiting women's choices...

Women seeking abortions face pressure during mandatory counseling sessions with a psychologist and are required to respect a waiting period of up to a week before making a final decision. Doctors are offered financial incentives.(opens in new tab)up to 20,000 rubles (approximately 220 euros) for each patient they persuade not to undergo the procedure. In some regions, the government also rewards teenage pregnancies.(opens in new tab)with one-time payments of up to 150,000 rubles (approximately 1,650 euros). Supporters argue that the policy is intended to help young girls in difficult circumstances. Critics, however, warn that schoolgirls from disadvantaged social backgrounds may be influenced by what they perceive as a significant amount of money, or even pressured by their families to have children at a young age, reducing their chances of completing their education and limiting their opportunities later in life. But judging by Vladimir Putin's recent broadcast on Direct Line , where he spoke in favor of teenage marriages (opens in a new tab), a true patriot would put childbearing above such concerns.

...but without limiting propaganda.

Putin’s remark is just the tip of the iceberg of the clumsy and heavy-handed pro-natalist propaganda that now permeates the Russian public sphere. Lawmakers and officials at various levels have floated a series of bizarre proposals aimed at encouraging young women to have more children, ranging from urging them to prioritize childbearing over a university education or a successful career to suggesting they wear miniskirts on sunny days to increase their birth rate. In 2024, the State Duma passed a law banning “propaganda of childless ideology,” defined as “information that encourages people to refuse to have children or presents childlessness as the social equivalent of having children.”

Narratives that present Russia as a champion of “traditional family values” ignore an uncomfortable truth: Russia has one of the highest divorce rates in the world. (opens in a new tab) According to 2023 data, 74% of all marriages end in separation. (opens in a new tab) Instead of support programs or counseling services, the authorities are again responding with punitive proposals. (opens in a new tab), such as imposing fines of up to 100,000 rubles (about 1100 euros) or even mandatory front-line service for those seeking divorce, as suggested by Duma member Vitaly Milonov. Some Duma members have also spoken in favor of labeling feminism an “extremist ideology.”(opens in a new tab), stating that this represents a harmful foreign influence imported from the West and leads to an increase in divorce rates.

"He beats me, which means he loves me" (Russian proverb) 

A few years ago, the same Duma failed to pass a long-debated bill aimed at combating domestic violence and instead voted to decriminalize some forms of domestic violence (opens in a new tab), such as beatings that did not result in broken bones.

Since then, the situation has worsened further, with Russian men exposed to extreme violence on the Ukrainian front returning home and bringing that violence with them. Independent media outlets have noted a rise in violence against women(opens in new tab) linked to men who have previously served or are still serving on the front, although most incidents are likely not recorded in official statistics.

Men prosecuted for domestic violence often receive lenient treatment (opens in a new tab), with courts often handing down light sentences or no sentences at all (opens in a new tab), citing their veteran status. Even state-sponsored propaganda has not been able to ignore the growing problem of post-war trauma and related domestic violence: a talk show host caused outrage by urging women to tolerate violence (opens in a new tab) from partners who fought in the war.

All of this stands in stark contrast to the fantasy promoted by the Russian state or pro-Kremlin actors. Beneath the polished image of happy families and strong women lies something much darker: a government that pushes women to have children, demonizes feminism, and removes protections against domestic violence. The state even turns a blind eye to abuse – especially when the perpetrators are war veterans.

One could argue that Russia is “friendly” to women only insofar as they serve the state as mothers of future soldiers and wives of those currently on the front lines, provided they don’t ask too many questions about what happened to their sons or husbands.

Instead of providing real support to families or addressing the root causes of declining fertility and family breakdown, Russian authorities rely on propaganda, moral lecturing, and punishment.

The gap between the image of Russia's image as a champion of traditional family life and what women actually experience continues to deepen.

The Geopost